One definition of nature is "The natural forces that control what happens in the world." As we humans are part of nature, that means us, too. Sadly illness, if we conclude genetics plays a large role in creating, is also natural. It may be considered "bad nature" (like cancer cells) but it's still nature. As a bipolar person, this makes me think of several things. To sum up a tough idea, are we bipolar people (and those afflicted with other mental illnesses destined to lose/fail in life?
People with the strongest genetics can be described as those with the least genetic potential for problems. You can't start a fire if there's no kindling. These people may not be talented to any great degree but they'll have the best chance of survival and, thus, evolving simply because they'll have no ill health in their way and, if you're not sick, you'll eventually get lucky even if you're not talented. "Every dog gets a bone" is the expression.
I will now state my views on we in the mentally ill community and the "normals," people with genes that will not naturally produce illness. I'm aware that I'm generalizing and do not speak for all mentally ill people, nor is my societal outlook for mentally ill people optimistic. It is quite pessimistic. It is also a bit stark but I will proceed and eventually get to more positive comments. The "normals" (a term I heard used by a mentally ill person I used to know) run society. Mentally ill people aren't allowed to become president. Most mentally ill people (I know from experience) will have a near impossible time working the kind of laborious jobs necessary to move the world. We won't be 9 to 5 ship builders or welders or plumbers or electricians. We can perhaps work these jobs part-time so there is hope for optimism in that regard. However, most of us will not be able to stand the grind for long periods of time. It's too hard core functional and stressful to believe otherwise. Most of us can contribute to society in small doses. Others can avoid becoming a financial burden on others by becoming inspirational to others. We can listen and provide counseling, the "I empathize" part of emotional life. Even if we don't (can't) do something Earth shattering, maybe we can provide a helpful service to others that will do great things. This alone is reason to keep trying with people. Without knowing it, we just might be an indirect part of something extraordinary.
Just a few personal experiences now. I always sensed, even when young, that functioning in life would be a difficult thing for me to achieve. I actually always had it in the back of my mind that I would commit suicide when I was 18 as I just knew, deep down, I would fall apart when HS was over. Fortunately, the suicide didn't happen but the breakdown did, in spite of my throwing everything I could against my growing bipolar disorder. This was a terrible time for me because I was stuck. I had always succeeded in my youth both academically and athletically. It was go time in college and I was up to the challenge. However, without knowing it, I was programmed for failure. I wanted to be possibly be a politician because I legitimately wanted to help people. Bipolar disorder slammed that door shut. Who wants a crazy man as their representative? No, that door was shut. It was a loss. A political career, due to my genetic nature, was a no go. Unlike the "normals," I was excluded, not because of me but because of my genes, something I got from my parents. No amount of positive attitude would change the chemical. I was horribly depressed, despite taking anti-depressants, skipped class and slept frequently just to feel regular. I never was like this in HS but I was in college. Bipolar disorder made sure I was lost, made sure I would lose the life I wanted.
I had a terrible nightmare the night before I'm writing this. I was trying to get into a car driven by people I wanted desperately to be with but I was left behind. I would grab at the car and those on it, I would grab hold with my arms but my grip was broken and it sped away. In a movie like Raiders of the Lost Ark, I was one of the soldiers that fell off the truck Indy was driving. As he sped into the rest of the movie and his eventual victory, I was one of the ones that had to deal with not being able to see the rest of the film. I was then forced to deal with other people left behind. The nightmare was the loss, missing the bus of happiness, not being allowed into heaven, left behind in hell on Earth. And it was REAL! It was an abstract reality of my life. It became obvious to me in my sleep that I would always be left behind. I would always be in a nightmarish place. I can control my sense of self and peace when I am awake. What chance to I have when I'm asleep?
I will now end on a positive note. We may be "destined" to lose by our genetic makeup (and let's be honest. It's 90% nature, 10% nurture) but that doesn't mean we will be. Some of us will conquer our illnesses enough to have a contributing place in the world and the happiness that comes with it. We have survived to this in our lives on guile, cleverness, and toughness. We survive. We live because we're hardy and hopeful that tomorrow could be a better day than today. We try to focus on our skills and talents. Many people with mental illnesses are more creative than others and we often express that gift. Due to the pain we have experienced, we often feel more empathy than others. These things may not show tangible, material results but can still be important nonetheless. Yes, we can advise others who may reach the brass ring we are seemingly denied and, maybe, just maybe, some of us will manage to grab that brass ring, too.
