Stalker's blood?

This is a very difficult post I feel I need to write so don't hate me. I need to get it into the open. I have OCD and Bipolar Disorder. As a symptom of my bipolar, I have what is called "erotomania." This is a delusion that someone I want very much to be in love with me is in love with me. It often takes the form of a "celebrity crush," where I can easily delude myself that the person really loves me via destiny or cosmic karma or some such crap. It's usually wishful thinking but I have deluded myself that certain people of higher social status in my reality are in love with me when that is not the case. Combine erotomania with an obsessive mentality and that leads to a potentially very dangerous mix as I can become fixated and angry. I can then adopt a "So she thinks she's better than me?!" attitude towards someone who either barely knows me or doesn't know me. I'm a lover. I'm not an angry, crazy obsessive but I can be that way. I'm always gauging my motives to prevent such a thing from becoming dangerous but I can be creepy and wear out my welcome, I suppose. I could engage in "stalker behavior" and not always be consciously aware of it. This can be a sick expression of "love," a dark side of delusion, anger, fear and personal emotional vapidness. I hope this post will help me (and you) understand my deep, deep need for love and how a disordered brain can darkly twist a treasured goal into an all-around nightmare. Thank you. Don't hate me. Please.