This is a painful time in my life but I feel it's also couched in an issue I feel is important.
I had a domestic dispute with my father in 1998. I was not functioning well at the time. I tried a job and was insulted by my recruiter so I quit. I was staying with my father and he decided to throw me out of his apartment (I was a fool for trusting him when he said I could stay there until I was on my feet.) It was in Wisconsin in March and, for anyone that's ever lived in Wisconsin, that means weather that at times borders on wintry (It has snowed several times over the years when the Brewers have opening day in April.) And that's how it was on that day. The temperature was in the 30s. I had no friends there that would take me in. I was going to die. I tried Salvation Army and they said they had a 30+ bed waiting line. I was literally going to freeze so I defended my life. I got my father's gun (I had never fired a gun except a BB one) and called him up at work. I didn't want to kill him or anything else. That's why I called him. I warned him I was going to defend my life. He called a SWAT team and I was arrested. My Dad is a Trump style Republican and always has been. Of course, that meant I was looked at as a criminal. I was taken to a psyche clinic, given a trial and sentenced to 6 months. I was not called to the witness stand. My Dad was and lied about our conflict. He said there was no reason for me to have acted like I did. I was 25 and had also had issues with my alcoholic mother who had fled our home and state when she separated from my alcoholic father six years earlier.
That's the backstory. Now the issue. I was not informed of SSI disability. I had no idea that was even available. To lock me up, they charged me $500 a day. Before my stay was over, I was saddled with a debt of over $50,000, which I have to this day. I was told about disability insurance the DAY BEFORE I was let out of the clinic. That insurance would have covered my stay. There were other abuses done to me after I left the clinic. The lesson I learned is that even family can toss you out and spit on you if they don't feel like you're meeting their standards. For my family, that meant a job. As I was deep in the throes of a bipolar disorder I had been diagnosed with less than 2 years before and an illness I had not even begun to contemplate, I was, even on an array of medications I also didn't understand, powerless against it. I've learned growing up as a Republican that the job was the most important thing. If you had one, you could do whatever you want. If not, you were rejected and tossed out. I used to think Republicans were the just truth tellers. From my experience, I have learned to be a sworn enemy to their ignorance and hateful evil towards the less fortunate. I have walked that mile (many) and the truth is that Republicans will sell you down the river at the first sign of trouble. They're evil people.
I think about my debt everyday. Sadly, on my last move, I forgot to inform the clinic up north (I live in Florida now) that I had moved again. They sent me a letter all but condemning me as a criminal trying to dodge what they consider to be my "responsibility." I've never had such an aggressive, hateful letter in my life. Sadly, there is no proof as I threw the letter away.
My heart and my soul, my very being, cries out for personal justice but also justice for the mentally ill people abused in the criminal justice system and laden with the burdens of massive debt. I did nothing to incur this debt. All I did was fight for my life against my father. I will fight this clinic of borderline scam artists with a lawyer when I can afford one. I know that the general public doesn't give a rat's ass and only assumes that the system is 100% just and that we deserve what we get. After all, I'm a criminal, right? I want to carry the mantle of crusader against the abuses of the system as I know people of my kind are currently being abused in forced clinic stays, treated like criminals and forced into massive debt. I vacillate in my belief in God but I ask for God's help and guidance in helping me attain justice for myself and other mentally ill people that feel the sting of system abuse. I want to carry them on my shoulders and fight for what I feel is right.
Thank you for reading.
